ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
