you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
