I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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