what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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