make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize