She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
