my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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