maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
