Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
