ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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