So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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