the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
