Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I would ride that face into the sunset
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
