Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
