if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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