I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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