hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
