these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
