I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
