How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
