something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
