So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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