i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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