i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
