sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
