Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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