i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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