party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
