Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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