just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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