yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
