wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
