dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I could have mohawked her pubes.
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How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
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Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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