you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
