and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize