It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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