your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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