you turned your livingroom into a bong?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm really busy with my period
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