wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
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my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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