I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
