his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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