In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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