she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
