she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
