Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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