Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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