Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
