We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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