i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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