You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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