"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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