Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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