I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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