They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
