You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
