what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
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Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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