had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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