ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
